Suffering for Happiness
by finalfanaticgorm
Summary: Set in the ROTLONverse. Based on Ana Luisa Pinto's theory about Jessica's problem. Jessica has spent her whole life being told she's worthless. Putting on a brave face every day is something she learns to do quickly but who will be there when the truth inevitably comes out? Hinted BlizzardStormshipping.


_AN: This oneshot is based on a theory **Ana Luisa Pinto** came up with for Jessica's problem. It takes place in the ROTLON-verse but will be posted separately as it is just a theory. Contains hints of BlizzardStormshipping (though that should be obvious by now)._

 _Warning: will contain mentions of abuse._

* * *

She doesn't think of it as abuse. Not at first.

To her, hearing the phrases "you're worthless", "you're nothing" and "I hate you" were normal. She'd heard them every day of her life for as long as she could remember.

To her, the happiest moments of her childhood before the age of five were being ignored. At least then she didn't have to listen to the cruel phrases she ends up having drilled into her head

She cannot recall precisely when it all started. One of the earliest incidents she can remember occurred when she was just four years old.

She had been playing with her toys in the living room when her mother had screamed at her to get out of her sight. She had obeyed immediately, running out of the living room into the garden, crying. Her mother yells at her to stop so she stops...altogether.

Anytime she could have had a reason to cry, she refuses. She hides her feelings behind a facade. She rationalizes that other people have it worse than she does. After a while, she believes wholeheartedly that she deserves her mother's cruel words.

She remembers her first day of school. She had begged her father to take her but he was busy. He was always busy. Therefore her mother had to take her and she made her displeasure known for the entire journey there.

She watches as, once they've made it onto the school grounds, her mother plows into two boys - brothers, she guesses - and carries on walking without checking to see if they're okay. She comes up to them and helps them up, apologizing on her mother's behalf.

After a short while, her mother comes back and practically drags her away. She hisses venomously at her to not bother trying to make any friends, telling her that nobody would want to be friends with a nobody like her anyway.

Her mask slips for a second once she is alone. Tears well up in her eyes and, though she furiously tries to wipe them away, she finds herself crying for the first time in a year.

One of the boys she met earlier is in the same class as her. She finds out his name is Toby Tripp though she doesn't tell him her own name. She doesn't see the point. Her mother is right. Nobody would _ever_ want to be friends with her.

Except...he did.

* * *

He watches her with interest every day after their first meeting. Something about her drew him in and he's not sure why. Perhaps it's the overwhelming feeling of sadness and loneliness coming from her that had prompted him to ask her to be his friend.

No, not just his friend. His _best_ friend.

For a moment, she had looked at him like he was crazy before smiling and accepting his offer.

The years go by and they get closer. Even though they bicker at times, they still care for one another.

He remembers the day they, along with his brother and their friend, discovered that they were the Lords of Nature. He had believed it straightaway but she looked like she couldn't believe she could ever be capable of helping to save the world. It was like she didn't believe in herself.

At first, he doesn't see any reason to be concerned. She does mention to him once that her mother doesn't like her very much but the impact of what she had meant didn't hit him until he hears her say that she wishes she could feel important.

After that, he begins noticing _everything._ He sees her mask slip when nobody else does. He hears her telling herself in a voice that suggests that it's something she's heard constantly that she's worthless. He can feel her internal struggles and he decides he has to be strong to support her when all of it inevitably becomes too much.

He has to be there. He needs to be there.

* * *

She had a brother.

Thirteen years of living and not once did anybody mention that she had had a twin brother. Past tense because he had died when she was three so she could hardly be expected to remember him.

That's not what bothers her, though. What upsets her is that she only found out through an argument her parents were having. Her father had recently lost his job and had been struggling to find a new one.

 _"I'm looking for a job but you're not exactly making it easy for me!"_

 _"Excuses again!"_

 _"I have to find a job with decent pay so I can support you and our daughter!"_

 _"Our_ what?"

 _"Monica, we've been through this. Our little girl. Jess-"_

 _"-she means_ nothing _to me, Aaron! Nothing! I hate her! She is no daughter of mine! She is the reason Hugo is dead!"_

At that point, she had given herself away by letting out a loud gasp. Somehow actually hearing her mother say the words "I hate you" this time hits her harder than usual.

The next thing she knows, she finds herself having to duck as her mother hurls a glass vase at the wall behind her head, screaming that her brother's death is her fault and that she cannot stand her.

She can't do this anymore. She's had enough.

* * *

He lays in bed, wide awake, despite the sky outside being inky black. It's barely two hours past midnight when he hears something small hit his bedroom window. He is ready to dismiss it when it happens again. A few times, in fact.

Finally, he gets fed up and strides over to the window, impatiently throwing the curtains open. The sight that awaits him is his best friend standing on the street outside with a backpack. Even from a distance, he can tell that she's either crying or very close to doing so.

Instantly forgetting about his irritation, he rushes downstairs and opens the door before making his way outside. He watches her look up, her eyes widening in surprise as he approaches her. It's like she doesn't expect him to care.

Only...he does. Far too much.

* * *

Telling him everything is a lot easier than she thought it would be. Of course, she ends up tearing up partway through, though she stubbornly refuses to let the tears fall. She has to stay strong in front of everybody, even him, even though he's the one person she trusts.

As she buries her face in his shoulder, hearing him whisper that it would be okay, that he would never let her feel pain like that again, she finally breaks down. It's all too much for her.

Much to her surprise, he apologizes. She tells him not to, that she deserves everything that has happened to her but he argues that _nobody_ deserves to go through something so awful. Especially not her.

She doesn't understand. She doesn't deserve him. She's not good enough. She'll never be good enough.

It scares her that she loves him because she doesn't feel deserving of it. She doesn't feel like she knows _how_ to love, yet she knows it's what she feels.

And it scares her.

* * *

He knows she has doubts. He can tell that she doesn't believe she deserves him but the truth is...

He's the one who doesn't deserve _her_.

It baffles him that she cannot see how amazing she is. All she sees is everything her mother has told her and believes it like it's the truth.

So he tells her everything he likes about her: her wit, her kindness, her strength, her courage, her beauty (because, to him, she's the most beautiful person he's ever known, inside and out). He even tells her that he likes her flaws because they're part of her. To him, she's a girl worth loving.

He knows she may not believe him but he'll remind her every day until she does.

Until he can turn her suffering into happiness.

* * *

 _AN: Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this theory-based oneshot. I must say it made me sad to write it and if anybody is going through a similar situation, I urge you to talk to somebody you trust._

 _I'll try to get the next chapter of ROTLON written as soon as possible. I believe I will introduce one of my OCs (aside from my fankids, I plan on introducing two OCs, one male and one female, throughout the course of the story. We'll see how things go, though.)_

 _Until next time! :-)_


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